You Know You Love Me (But You Don't Know Who I Am)

GOSSIP GIRL

I will preface everything by saying I didn't read the books. Not that that should be a shocker to anyone since I have not read a novel outside of class since January and that was Princess Mia from the Princess Diaries series. I like my teen chick lit fluffy and angsty in only the most teenage way-- "Does the love of my life know I exist? Will I fail Calculus?"--because, that, my friends, is how high school worked for me. The only book I read (it had some vain title about loving oneself or being awesome or rich or something) featured Blair, I think, three pages in, talking about how rich she was and how pretty she was and how she was going to have sex with her really hot boyfriend and how she was going to get into Yale. Which is quite ridiculous and grating and so the book was shelved.

But the actual show? Pretty addictive. But, gentle reader, you ask, "What's different about the show? How is it less annoying?"

Let's just say Josh Schwartz has learned much from his years on The O.C.. He's learned to create characters (yes, he's created them and they are not nearly as vain or pompous or just plain weird as in the books) that are flawed in ways that make sure we don't hate them. But more importantly, he's learned how to weave a plot that is heightened but not One Tree Hill-ridiculous.

(GG's Serena, an excerpt: I left town because I had sex with my best friend's boyfriend and then was present when a guy overdosed on coke! And now I'm dating a social outsider!)

(OTH's Peyton, an excerpt: My mom's dead! No, that was my adoptive mom! My biological mom has cancer! She's dead! But I have a brother! He's my brother! No, he's a stalker! My actual brother's black!...and during all this time, she romanced her ex-boyfriend's brother/best friend's boyfriend, a teen parent, and Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy.)

But let's get back to the characters. While I do think all of the characters have a point (and it's a common and deadly problem when characters don't), few of them are actually compelling, even if they're all very good-looking.

Penn Badgley plays Dan. I first fell in love with him in
John Tucker Must Die. He's much hotter in Gossip Girl, though.

Serena spends most of her time looking sad. Nate is either smoking pot, trying to sex up Serena or Blair, or looking sad. Dan pretends he's not judgmental when he kicks his damaged girlfriend to the curb repeatedly. Jenny wants to be Queen Bee.

The only characters I care about are Blair, Chuck, Rufus, and Lily. BECAUSE THEY'RE INTERESTING. They change! They do unexpected things! Blair loses her virginity, but not to her boyfriend of the past million years! Chuck falls in love! Rufus and Lily combat her need for stability and cash and his desire to fix his marriage! These are characters to get behind: the ones who are not one-note but change and evolve as the season progresses.

I mean, I suppose Serena falls into that protagonist problem of lacking character but not adventure. But I wonder endlessly why we should accept boring main characters and watch shows for secondary characters only (Smallville, you must admit, stars a pretty lackluster Clark Kent and features pretty awesome backers like Chloe and Lex).

When it comes down to it (although I've articulated this all in a horribly roundabout way), Gossip Girl is not good because it takes us into the world of privilege. It's not good because of the characters. It's certainly not good because of the dialogue ("Little did I know she had a surprise waiting for me..."). But it's because of really well-woven plots with great set-ups and even greater payoffs.

Some examples:

• Eric's suicide attempt and the reveal that he's Jenny's boyfriend's boyfriend.
• Blair/Jenny power rivalry (which Blair owns).
• Serena's real secret and Georgina.
  

When Gossip Girl fails, it's because the show relies too much on the characters alone or doesn't use enough set-up. (It takes really strong characters to build a show around them and not so much the plot; see Psych.)

Examples:

• Nate/Vanessa. Charming? Yes. Believable? No.
• Serena/Dan. Completely fell into the Clark/Lana trap of having a relationship mini-trauma each episode which really made you question why the heck they were together in the first place, minor cute moments aside. You can't rely on the cute moments to pull the viewer through the crap. We remember the crap, especially if you throw it at us every episode.

So! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to watch Season One of Gossip Girl. It's fab and Blair is bringing the headband back in a good way.

On a Disney Channel Note:

Doesn't Taylor Momsen totally look like Aly Michalka from Aly & AJ?