A Thought on Graduation

My dad asked me today why I don't graduate after the end of junior year if I have enough credits. I explained to him the whole "three majors with a minor" thing and he still didn't seem to get it. Whatever. My parents said I could go anywhere and promised to pay for undergraduate. So I'm staying for the whole four years, goshdarnit.

But, despite my inner family financial angst, the talk made me think about graduation.

Sometimes I think about how I'm going to graduate in a purple robe and I die a little inside. Sometimes I remember graduating in a red flimsy gown of cheapness and I cringe. Here's a little dedication to the graduation attire of our favorite teen shows.

All graduations are high school unless noted.

Also, I've cataloged where their tassels are in respect to their status as graduates, since we all know there's no consensus on that little detail.

Red

Felicity (High School)

To pull a Topanga or not pull a Topanga...that it the question.
Graduated: Left

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

I remember Buffy's diploma being a little more scorched
in canon. Love Willow's shoes.
Graduated: Left

Roswell

I didn't watch this show. I probably should at some point
since it's right up my alley (romantic angst + aliens). But I
remembered that their robes were red and they were!
Graduated: Right

Smallville

Chloe: Where's Lana?
Clark: Probably hiding in Lex's mansion after killing her boyfriend's mom.
Chloe: At least she won't outshine me in the graduation photos.
Not Graduated: Left

Blue

Dawson's Creek

Katie! Before she popped out her dress-like-me Barbie.
Not Graduated: Left

Felicity (College)

Oh, Felicity. With the rarely-seen college graduation.

Graduated: Left (Good in-show continuity!)

One Tree Hill

And then Haley has her baby! NALEY 4-EVA.
Not Graduated/Graduated: Right (They didn't move their tassels.)

Black

Gilmore Girls (High School)

Chilton's colors were blue and white, but they're classy
and college-prep, so they have cool black robes.
Not Graduated: Left

Gilmore Girls (College)
Wow. I guess despite where I left off with Rory as a petty
criminal living in her grandparents' boathouse,
she did manage to graduate.
Graduated: Left (BAD in-show continuity!)

Green

Veronica Mars

Oh, my sassy little detective. Our only grad in green.
Graduated: Left

Random Crap

The O.C.

If I were forced to wear a lei to my graduation...there would
be blood. Notable also for the different colors for each gender.
Not Graduated: Right

Really just makes you think if they bought some of these robes in bulk and handed them off to multiple shows, especially the red. Although it's interesting to see how their graduation bling differs, with medals and stoles, etc. At my school, you could have an NHS tassel or a Maine Scholar stole and that was it. How rocking would it be to have a fricking medal?

Also, this study further proves how ridiculous the whole tassel thing is and how no one can get it right.

According to the Academic Costume Code and Ceremony Guide, there is no regulation on how to wear your tassel. However, they also state that typically, the tassel is worn to the right until the degree is received; then the tassel is switched to the left. Some say it started for ceremonial reasons; another, more practical reason for it being on the right is because the tassel won't be in front of the graduate's face during photos (as graduates usually cross the stage from house right to house left). That means every one of our graduates is a-okay, even the self-contradicting Gilmore Girls, since it can be assumed that Chilton and Yale have different tassel procedures (but why Chilton would purposefully differ from the Ivies is a far more pertinent question).

So...what color do you want to wear?

I Went to a Stupid CW Prom and All I Got Was This Lousy Dress

After re-watching Smallville's prom episode, "Spirit," I've decided to do a little CW prom dress cataloging. Because, let's face it. For a network that is supposed to be up with the trends and what the young people wear, most of their shows have awful formal wear choices.

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

What a fabulous photo. If only Buffy's dress could have been half as fabulous.

Ug. I think if there had been no build to the dress ("Angel's gonna lose it!"), I wouldn't dislike it as much. The color is nice and shimmer-y, if not eye-catching. But then you start looking at it. It gathers in weird places and it doesn't look like it fits right around the bust, as if it's about to fall off of her at any second and expose her. And then it has that awful brooch that's been pinned lopsided.

And that weird train. To top it all off, the material ends up looking a little cheap. I read somewhere that it was a Vera Wang dress; I guess it just proves that even the almighty Vera can mess up.

Willow has a more traditional prom dress and she looks lovely. Plus cool hair. And spiffy-looking Oz.

I like Anya's dress because it has a very vintage feel with the lace and the patterned red. You really believe that a vengeance demon who lived through the Bolshevik Revolution would see that in a store and come to terms with it as an appropriate compromise of the fashion of all her times.

But the best dress?

That, dear Buffy, is how you wear a show-stopping dress. One that is in-character and gorgeous with a total wow-factor.

Eat it up, Wesley.

One Tree HillOh. My. God. Ta-cky. Haley, the pregnant valedictorian in go-go boots, Peyton in a nice-color, but unremarkable dress post-kidnapping, and Brooke in what Nina Garcia calls the ultimate tacky sin: shiny, tiny, and short. I can get behind the short prom dress thing. Kind of. But if you're gonna wear it with hooker boots or sequins, I'm just going to have to stamp "FUGLY" on it.

And let's not even start on the men. I mean, I can get behind Skill's leather or Mouth's powder blue retro look ensemble because they both fit the characters. But Lucas has that poorly-cut, poorly-accented white jacket and is that a velvet coat on Nathan? What's wrong with a plain black tux with an accent matching your date's dress? Nothing, I say! It's a classic for a reason.

Why was the tackiness of this cast's entire ensemble not kept in check? *le sigh*

Edit: Apparently there was a reason for the tackiness. Since I didn't watch the fourth season of OTH, I didn't know the prom episode followed a trip to a vintage store for their ensembles. I still say that there are ways to do vintage and mean business. See Mouth. But even if it's 70's, they're dressed more for clubbing than prom-ing, as evidenced by That 70's Show.

Floor-length! Muted Colors! Floral! Prom's an effing big deal no matter what decade you're in and you don't go dressed like a tramp or an Emma Peel Wanna-Be. To conclude: WB/CW shows should showcase awesome dresses, even if they are from a 70's vintage shop, that every teen girl will drool over. That, and the customary awww! romantic dancing! parts.

Also, I will never excuse Nathan or Lucas' jackets. Or their hair. Eek.

Smallville
What's great about this prom episode is that we get the spirit of a Super-Prom Supporter and thus we get, when she inhabits Lois' body, the most cliched prom dress ever:

It's like the nightmare prom dress that mated with your Miss Junior Tacky formal wear selection. And for that reason, it's fabulous. Good job, Smallville costumers for finding the worst prom dress ever. It's hot pink and it's shiny and I love it.

Chloe has a halter dress. It's very nice, modern with the criss-crossed banding, although a bit strange when the banding leaves gaps. It highlights what fans of Smallville call her "Chloevage."

Yay, prom queen.

But, my friends, Smallville also features the motherload of sincere prom awesomeness in the form of Miss Lana Lang.

Lana! For as much as I hate her character, she does look stunning 99% of the time. And here she is just gorgeous. Just beautiful. This is a dress and an entrance that will make your commitment-phobe, super-powered love interest "lose it." Admittedly, it's a fairly simple sweetheart-cut A-line dress. But what really sells it is that it's expertly styled and fits her perfectly. WIN. And best prom look I've seen on TV or in real life.

(Side Note: Kristin Kreuk is the halfie that I want to be. Or, you know, Michaela Conlin from Bones. Whatever.)

Do You Remember When...

...the WB had awesome promos for each new season? With cross-show cast interactions? Not like the CW's now where it's basically cast cut-outs swirling around green backgrounds with trendy music?

Case in point:



Featuring David Boreanaz-Shannon Doherty eye-sex! Jamie Foxx, pre-Oscar! And, the cast of the next-to-be-featured canceled-but-not-forgotten show, Popular!

Canceled, But Not Forgotten: Part 2

By the request of arianrhod, we delve into another TV show canceled before its time.

Jack and Bobby


This show was actually much further down on my list of shows to cover because unlike most of my "Canceled, But Not Forgotten" shows, this one actually had a very fulfilling finale. In fact, its one season on the air is pretty much perfection.

There were so many reasons to love this show.

One of which was the hotness of Matt Long. But there were lots more reasons that actually speak to the quality of the show outside of its WB demographic.

The Plot: The series is framed with a documentary about the future President McCallister. In each episode, those close to the President talk about his principles and milestones from his career; the actual show then has teenage brothers Jack (Matt Long) and Bobby (Logan Lerman) learn the same thematical lessons that will help one of them grow into a future President.


Okay, so you find out in the pilot that Bobby is destined to become President. But the strange thing is--since that was a major risk in the story-telling--that you still can't stop watching it.

Yes, you want to know about how Bobby grows into one of the greatest American presidents, but at the same time, you care about the here-and-now: Will Jack and Courtney hook up, despite the fact that she becomes Bobby's first lady? Will Jack come out from the death of his former girlfriend unscathed? Will Grace (the mom) get in trouble for sexing up hot, virile Bradley Cooper before settling down with Courtney's dad Peter (played by John Slattery, in the role that made him my in-his-forties-yet-still-smoking crush of choice, before he did Desperate Housewives or Mad Men)? Or does anyone else remember Bobby's goth girlfriend?

The show was relevant politically without being preachy, showing every side of an issue. Perhaps the best way it did that was in the religion episode where Bobby has a spiritual awakening, much to his liberal mother's chagrin, and she proceeds to show him a different religion every week. Grace's liberalism would fight over Peter's conservatism; the show famously shot two endings, depending on if Kerry or Bush won the 2004 election, the Bush ending resulting in a catty remark from Grace to Peter through Bobby about how all would change when Hillary was elected in 2008 (oh! the irony of now!). But really, it was about how vision and, more than anything, determination, can get one through any problem, from teenage dramas to international incidents.

Something that will soon become a theme bordering on whiny in these reminiscent posts will be how most of these shows were very high-concept, ended up on the WB or FOX, and then got their asses kicked. Jack and Bobby is just one more example of something outside of the WB's main demographic (why would teens watch "The West Wing for 18-49 Age Bracket" when they could watch the pure drama without political ramifications of Mr. Dawson and his creek?), and it failing.

I would highly recommend Jack and Bobby. While I'm not the beacon of class, I do generally know something great when I see it. Jack and Bobby was a phenomenal show with a fantastic season with a wonderful series finale that summed up everything perfectly, meaning no cliffhanger angst for you and your kiddies.

Top Ten: Backstreet Boys

In anticipation of my attendance of the upcoming Backstreet Boys concert (buy tickets!) I've composed the following list of my favorite BSB songs. Admittedly, it's heavily biased in favor of Millennium, Black and Blue, and Never Gone, as those are the albums on my iTunes, and God knows I'm terrible at sticking with Top Ten lists, but these are all great songs that I adore.

(A Note: Unlike Ryan, I haven't figured out how to upload songs. So, instead, I'm providing YouTube videos that are mostly BSB pics to each of the songs.)

10. TIE: What Makes You Different (Makes You Beautiful)



Really, it's a combination of two of my great loves: BSB and The Princess Diaries. It's on the Princess Diaries soundtrack, which is actually rather listen-able, plus it's just so delightfully happy and love-conquers-all, telling its "being unique is awesome!" message:

"I know sometimes you feel
Like you don’t fit in
And this world doesn’t know
What you have within."

Seriously. Lyrics every misfit pre-teen clings to for dear life.

10. TIE: I Still...


The song is rocking, plus the title ends in an ellipses. How could I not love it?

9. It's Gotta Be You


(The vid is a pic-spam to the song, but at 2:06 they have a photo from when BSB guest-starred on Arthur--which was a fab episode, btw.)

My love for this song started when my friends in middle school came up with a routine to it for the Variety Show. But beside that, it's super-catchy and not in an annoying way like my least favorite BSB song (which you will find out at the end of this list).

8. Siberia


A confession: I made a Smallville music video to this song. And, in fact, you can see it in the above YouTube video. Am I actually that pathetic? Yes. Is the video actually that poorly constructed? Yes. As for the song itself: what I love about Never Gone is that so many of the songs were stories. They weren't just in-the-moment love songs. They really took "The Call" to the next level. "Siberia" is a song about how a lover leaves the song's protagonist for someone else and covers so much: sadness, anger, and acceptance. It's just lovely. Although I don't list it, "Poster Girl" from Never Gone has the same lovely story-telling and I would advise listening to it.

7. Shape of My Heart


This stands in the list and kinda represents both itself and "As Long As You Love Me." Both are hits that are the patented BSB mix of smooth yet pop-y.

6. The Call


(Yeah. Face-shifting psycho takes on cheating BSB-ers. Their music videos never made much sense.)

Hello, eighth grade. While my conservative thirteen-year-old self despised this song because it was about cheating on your girlfriend, my growing teenager within swiftly slapped the idealist in me with the convincing argument of "It's catchy and you love it." I figure that dichotomy is the best insight you can get into my head.

5. Incomplete



Not to be confused with "Inconsolable" which was not nearly as good.

4. How Did I Fall in Love with You



BSB recorded so many great slow ballads that are often overlooked, as did *NSYNC. (One of my favorite *NSYNC songs is "Selfish," which is a slow song that is yearning in its simplicity.) "How Did I Fall in Love with You" is the classic dilemma of falling in love with your best friend:

"Those days are gone, and I want you so much.
The night is long and I need your touch.
Don't know what to say,
I never meant to feel this way.
Don't want to be
Alone tonight."

If you like this song, I also recommend BSB's "Time."

3. I Want It That Way


(Oh, Chinese Backstreet Boys.)

Duh.

2. Drowning


Off of their Best-Of Album (which, strangely, they called The Hits: Chapter One...and then they proceeded to fall of the face of the earth), "Drowning" is a great addition to their established hits. It has all the metaphor-ness of "Bleeding Love," but doesn't annoy me. Instant win in my book.

1. Just Want You to Know


My first song ring tone, as my entire cog sci class soon learned. So embarrassing, but I love the song enough to swallow the shame. That, my friends, is love.


And the one song I just can't stand? "Larger than Life." Maybe it's the maniacal laugh or the the rhyme of "see" with "reality." I don't know. But I'm pretty over it.

Bonus! BSB and Shania Twain!

Why I Love "The Prom"

Mr. Giles. I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I want to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Miss Chase to dance would--

For God's sake, man, she's eighteen. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about.

Canceled, But Not Forgotten: Part 1

My talk with Mr. Erwich has put me in the mood. The newest feature to my "will actually be updated" blog is Canceled, But Not Forgotten, which will take you on short adventures about shows that were canceled before they caught on, despite being made of awesome. (Or, they possibly sucked and I just didn't notice.) I will definitely delve into my world of FOX-hate, but to begin, I'd like to look at this year's TV season's two losers that make me make that sad pouty face that is adorable yet heartbreaking.

Aliens in America

The CW doesn't really do comedy. It's known for love triangles, booze, and product placement. So when they decided to produce a delightful new comedy about a Muslim foreign exchange student's crazy antics fitting into his new American family, everyone was a bit surprised. Surprised for a fewof reasons: the premise was actually good, the writing was heart-warming and funny without relying on stereotypes, and the show didn't fit into the CW line-up. Basically the biggest surprise? Why would the CW produce a show they knew wouldn't be embraced by their viewers and was bound to be canceled? The CW, like FOX, rarely cares about the praise of critics.

Has there been better comic gold than Justin and his mom playing Roger and Mimi in their community theatre production of Rent? Or Justin and Raja pretending a random woman in the hospital is Justin's mom in order to avoid being beaten up? Or, my personal favorite, when the town thinks Raja is a terrorist when he buys supplies for the Rocket Club? (Answer: No.)

Plus, Raja is totally my brother, in a totally awesome way.

I totally loved this show even though I knew it was dead before it aired. If you ever feel like having a good laugh, watch episode 3, "Rocket Club." Here's a taste (it starts slow; the end thirty seconds are classic):



Cashmere Mafia

Loved it for four simple reasons: Mirando Otto is a bitch and she knows it, Lucy Liu is disarmingly hilarious/poignant, Frances O'Connor is realer than dirt, and Bonnie Somerville is charmingly flustered. Of course, the title is ridiculous (yet catchy) and apparently Lipstick Jungle, despite an even more ridiculous title, is better, although I've never seen it. To me, Cashmere Mafia was the next generation of Sex and the City and not just merely a rip-off. These were actual working women, not just women who happened to work, who had actual lives outside of each other. Admittedly, it wasn't highbrow or high-concept, but the characters were well-fashioned, if the plots seemed a little flippant for a drama, although the angst was high (Juliet is out of a husband within five episodes; Mia and her ex-fiance are dating other people in less than that; Caitlin is gay with no prior history in her 30s?). In fact, the only plotline I truly loved was Zoe's work relationship with her male colleague at her firm who gave a promotion to his sex buddy to keep her quiet, asking the very real question of how can a woman who puts her serious self forward hope to be successful if other women are using their sexuality to do the same thing?

Additionally, the men were all insanely attractive. (Tom Everett Scott? Peter Hermann? Please give me a call.) The show had dramedy promise and it's a shame we won't get to see these four wonderful actresses work together again.

No. Seriously.

No matter what crap I spew about Phonathon, it does, on occasion, bring forth interesting conversations from extraordinary individuals. It might be the Theatre major who is now a neurologist or one of the first female lawyers in Illinois, but whoever it is, you end up hanging on his or her every word. (I mean, come on. Both Frank Galati and Michael Greif are in the calling pools. Thankfully neither picked up or I would have word vomited, but still. Pretty awesome.)

So at Phonathon today I was doing my typical "Hi, I'm from Northwestern, let's check your contact info, let's check where you work, let's have some pointless conversation, give me your money" gab when I start talking to this man (Craig Erwich) who is the Executive VP of Warner Horizon, which produces The Bachelor. This is a totally notable guy and I'm very much enjoying talking to him about producing hit TV shows.

But, as every Phonathon conversation goes, you run dry and reach desperately for new topics. The old standby? "So, how did you get from Northwestern to your current job?"

Mr. Erwich paused for a second before making an admission: "I used to work as EVP of Programming at FOX. And then I got fired."

Me, stunned: "Like, FOX, FOX? Like you arranged all the programming at FOX?"

Erwich: "Yeah. Do you watch FOX?"

Well then, I confessed my Two-Season FOX Rule: The show must be on for at least two seasons (or, at least one season and renewed for a second) on FOX before I get attached. This is to make sure I don't get hurt in the end like I did with Firefly, John Doe, and Reunion.

Erwich: "That's pretty smart. FOX is swift to cancel things. Did you have a favorite show?"

Me, reminiscent: "Remember that Friday night line-up? Firefly followed by John Doe? When they were both canceled within a season, it pretty much broke my heart."

Firefly was the first show that FOX used to shoot
my poor little heart to pieces.

Erwich, laughing a bit: "Yeah, that was me."

Me, stunned again: "You--You canceled them?"

Erwich: "Well, no one was watching them."

Me, squealing: "I was watching them!"

While this was happening, Jeff and Mitch surrounded me, wondering what the heck was happening while I mouthed "He canceled Firefly!" as clearly as possible. Jeff was taken aback and perched next to me, listening intently before he pressed the "Pledge" button--because, clearly, this guy has cash.

Me, continuing: "And then they made Serenity!"

Erwich, good-natured: "And no one saw that, either."

Me, even higher pitched: "I saw it!"

And then, after I got over my brief squeaky outrage, we talked shop about House and Bones briefly before he pledge-carded me.

But seriously. Best. Phonathon. Convo. EVER. It makes me really excited about being a Northwestern alum, considering we have so much power/so many resources. I could cancel people's favorite shows!

Ri-dick.

P.S. He totally got a 24 character named after him. Okay, the guy got killed but you know what? Getting a character named after you? BADASS.