Recap: Smallville 8x03 "Toxic"

Summary:

Clark and Chloe are at a party. Chloe is wearing one of those maxi-dresses that I hate, but she still looks cute. Chloe is obviously jealous of Lois and Clark working together. Oliver comes in with some Hottie McWhore and collapses. Oh Nos! Poison!

Chloe calls Davis because Oliver doesn't want to be taken to a hospital. You would think that in his final breath he would say, "Leech me!" (as shown later in the episode) but whatever. Let's go for the angst.

Oliver relives his island days. Oliver eats bugs! After, you know, becoming friends with the them. He tries to get a wild pig by running at it. Then we have a triumphant arrow-making sequence. He has even made rudimentary clothing that is very reminiscent of his current uniform. Training sequence. He dramatically can shoot blindfolded.

You must be swift as a coursing river!
With all the strength of a great typhoon!

With all the strength of a raging fire!
Mysterious as the dark side of the mooooooon!

Success!

Oliver gets poisoned. He wakes up covered in leeches and Tess Mercer. Apparently, she was a marine biologist and the leeches will suck out the poison; if he went to a hospital, they would treat him with adrenaline and kill him. I have such a hard time buying that (all of that, marine biology included), but whatever. Cassidy Freeman is fabulous.

The leech enzymes? Actually an aphrodisiac.

Ollie and Tess flirt. The captors come in and kill Tess's best friend. Oliver prevents them from killing Tess. Later on, Tess thinks Oliver is seducing her. In reality, he's stealing her hairtie to make a makeshift arrow. They escape!

While Ollie is relieving all of this in a sweaty haze, Lois is having more chemistry with his unconscious body than she ever has with Clark, lamenting her break-up with Ollie. Clark goes to Tess to get the cure. We find out that the one who poisoned Ollie was their captor from the Island. Tess promptly begins to kick his ass before Clark helps her out when the going gets tough. Luckily, Tess totally gets to kill the guy before the episode is out. That bitch ownz!

We also find out that Lionel, more likely than not, killed the Queens. Well, duh. But Ollie angsts over it all the same.

Davis proves to be a creepy stalker type, rummaging around Isis. I guess it goes with psycho murderer. Chloe proceeds to tell Davis more secrets for no apparent reason. Davis tells her that he has a part of him that he's holding beneath the surface. I can't tell if it comes off as creepy or seductive.

1. Lollie!

"Look at us, the noble couple. I let you go and in return,
you were supposed to save the world. But this, Ollie.
This isn't saving the world, is it? This is you backing out
on your end of the deal. You know, maybe we had
it wrong...The truth is, sometimes I wonder if I
should have ever let you go."

Lois and Ollie have ridiculous, amazing, wonderful chemistry. I'm tempted to say they have the most chemistry out of any canon couple in Smallville. There's such passion and love and heartache that it's hard not to ship them. Lois' speech to Oliver was so moving that I was actually pissed at Clark for ruining it. A side note to the writers: if your "Iconic" couple has less chemistry than a couple where one of them is unconscious, it's a bad sign. It's an even worse sign if the audience wants to watch more of said scene and not your "Iconic" couple.

Also, why ruin the wonderfulness of Lollie by slapping it with Superman metaphors? Calling him the "Man of Tomorrow" and talking about how all she does is write about him? I was so upset that they basically threw out Lollie with this episode. Lois is admitting huge, consuming feelings for Ollie and, what? They mean nothing? Why didn't we get a Lois/Oliver-is-Awake scene? Even an angsty one reaffirming their break-up would have been better than her waxing poetic about kittens.

My final comment has more to do with practicality than shipping:

"Lois, breathe for me"? Uh, how does Davis know if she's qualified in CPR? Also, aren't the breaths being fazed out? Whatever. They probably just wanted to get in a Lollie "kiss" Mulder/Scully style and avoid a Oliver/Davis lip-lock at the same time.

2. Chlark!

"I guess I just always thought that I would be the one circling your typos."

It's really evident that Chloe misses spending time with Clark and, also, spending time on the newspaper. She's also super-jealous of how much time Lois and Clark spend together.

And Clark is so concerned about Chloe-iac. Well, we're all concerned about her.

"Chloe, you're too smart."

"Clark, when you're a Big Dumb Alien, a toaster strudel is smart."

Although, Clark admitting he's watched his "Goodbye Lana" tape more than once? Reeks of pathetic.

3. Tess "Mercy" Mercer.

Don't mess with the best cause the best don't mess.

Can I just say once again how much I LOVE Tess? She's sardonic and dry and confident and ruthless...just wonderful. And this episode really focused on showing what Tess was compared to what she became. She and Justin Hartley have amazing chemistry, and although I love my Lollie, I wouldn't mind seeing these two pursuing some alone time, angst included.

Tellie Tension.

Also, how FAB is her license plate?

And finally,

How cute is it that Clark calls her "Miss Mercer"? It's like she's his teacher.

4. Shirtless Oliver!


5. Lois' Hangover Cure.

It's pickles.