Recap: Gossip Girl 2x06 "New Haven Can Wait"

Summary:

Blair wakes from a dream where her Audrey Hepburn is out-classed by Serena in My Fair Lady. Upon waking, she tries to push her insecurities aside and keep herself happy with her upcoming visit to her father's alma mater, Yale. Serena is planning to visit Brown, despite getting a handwritten letter to visit Yale because (as she shows in her limited humanity in this episode) it's Blair's school. Also, Serena is dumb as Helen Keller pre-The Miracle Worker. (Get it? Because she couldn't talk?...oh, whatever, I thought it was hilarious.)

Blair points out to Serena that she's as dumb as the aforementioned Keller and Serena decides that the best thing to do is to go to Yale to screw over Blair. Right. Really mature, Serena.

Why, yes, I AM planning to major in New Bitch-ish Literature!
How did you know?

Serena gets all personable with the Dean and gets invited to his special gathering, which Blair is not invited to. Blair, being Blair, connives her way into the soirée, where each prospective Yale student must fill out a person they would most like to meet. Serena, livid at Blair for crashing the party, steals her person. Blair, being Blair, switches the entry to the name of the man Serena "killed" last season. This leads to a bitch-fight outside, which Serena totally starts by pushing Blair. After their fight, they decide not to be friends anymore.

Finally, Serena and Blair come to terms with their rivalry (that lasted all of two episodes), decide to be BFFs again, and decide that going to Yale together would be, jeepers, so cool and Gilmore Girls-esque. The Dean calls Serena, offering her admission, despite, you know, supposedly killing a man. However, he says Blair will find out in the spring. (Which makes NO sense, since Yale is her first choice and there's no way Blair didn't Early Decision that application.)

MEANWHILE, the boys are also visiting Yale. Chuck convinces Nate to visit Yale with him because he wants to join the Skull and Bones. Nate is a begrudging participant since his dad's illegal money matters ruined many a trust fund there.

Dan needs a letter of recommendations, so the Dean mandates that he get one from a professor. At Yale. By the end of his visit. I mean, maybe this is why I don't go to an Ivy League school, but seriously? You won't just take a recommendation from his high school English teacher, someone who has actually talked to him and seen repeated examples of his work? Seriously?

Nate lands himself a college girl (well, he does like his older women), but says his name is Dan Humphrey so that he doesn't get in trouble with the guys that are pissed off at his dad. It turns out that Dan needs help from said college girl to secure a prof rec and he totally cock-blocks Nate, ruining his cover.

I'm sorry, I'm not interested unless you're underage.

Chuck gets kidnapped by the Skull and Bones and must prove his awesomeness. He provides women. Women who do their work best in threes. Kinky threes. The men enjoy the women, but also need a show of loyalty from Chuck: he will deliver them Nate for them to pummel. Chuck, still fuming from last week, gives them Dan instead, who they tie up. Nate and College Girl help Dan down.

Shirtless, immobile Dan? The best kind.

Nate is furious that Chuck did that to Dan. I guess Nate and Dan are suddenly friends after no previous interaction? I mean, why the hell not? Chuck, on the other hand, now has blackmail photos of all the guys in Skull and Bones in kinky positions with his ladies.

CONCURRENTLY, Jenny convinces Rufus to let her work and be home schooled (Home schooled by whom is a good question, but it is never brought up. I love Rufus, but I doubt Rufus is the calculus sort.). She totally seals the deal by having Rufus all loosened up by Lilly Van der Woodsen. And my coupling of the "old" people on the CW continues.

1. Serena v. Blair

We all have our perfect person that we secretly always compare ourselves to. Our Natasha, to borrow from Sex and the City. My high school Natasha kicked my ass at speech team, goes to Princeton, and dated the sweetest guy ever. She is also ridiculously pretty and personable. A monster hit on all counts. Blair has Serena, who is effortlessly charming and affable, despite her dull wit and naïveté.

But Serena proved in this episode to be quite a hard pill to swallow. There are three types of bitches. Two are lovable (well, ish), and the third is draining and obnoxious:

1. The Bitch who Knows It and Owns It.
2. The Bitch who Is Hiding Her Insecurity.
3. The Bitch who Thinks She's the Nicest Girl Since Pollyanna.

Blair falls into the first two categories; Serena squarely into the third. The third category is also inhabited by Cady from Mean Girls. No one hates Regina in Mean Girls. She's a #1 Bitch and she's living the life. Cady, however, still seems to think that she's the sweetest thing despite her bitchery, which just makes you want to bitch-slap some self-awareness into her. Same goes for Serena.

Serena still thinks that she's just letting her inner sparkle shine. Whatever. What she's really doing is taking over the role of massive tool from Dan the Douche for a couple of episodes.

Blair's journey in this episode really hit home for me. As a high-achieving, perpetually self-doubting angst monkey, I take a lot of things very seriously. College admissions is one of them. Now, I lucked out in the grand scheme of things when it came to applying to colleges: there was very little overlap between the schools my friends and I applied to, and if we applied to the same one, the result tended to be the same. Very little drama. But interfering with college admissions is a HUGE no-no for me. I mean, it's a primary reason why I don't like Gabriella from High School Musical. And Serena messing with Yale? Inexcusable.

Did Blair go too far by putting Serena's "murder victim" into the Dean's hands? Yes. But Blair gets stupid when she gets desperate. And Serena made her take that step.

Isn't it what you always fear? That your stupid best friend, just because she's prettier than you, will end up with everything you ever wanted? (See: Smallville and Chloe.)

Maybe I'm too decidedly Team Blair.

Nah.

2. The Fight.

LAME. Seriously, man. I wanted a full-on fight (see: Brooke and Peyton in OTH), not a glimpse of a fight and then a cutway and the next time we see them, they're adjusting their clothes. For all I know, they had sex and that's why they stopped fighting.

But it definitely featured the best lines from the episode:

"I really hate that stupid headband!"

"Ow! My headband!"

3. Poor Little Rich Boy.

Jeez, his man bangs look AWESOME in this cap.

Oh, Nate. How your angst makes me want to give you a hug. But seriously. I know you're a horny teenage boy, but considering you just got out of a two-episode love triangle, moving in on a college girl (while age-wise, in between your two former lovers), is kind of skanky.

Also, who else wanted to hear the words, "I'm Chuck Bass" slip from Nate's lips when asked his name? Why would you want to be Dan Humphrey when you can be Chuck Bass?

4. Rufus/Lilly!

HOT DAMN, Lilly.

How I love them. That is all.

5. THE MOTHERCHUCKER IN ACTION

Chuck is such a BAMF. The final twist in the end was PHENOM and pure Chuck. Really, when Chuck does things like this, you are reminded how perfect he is for Blair because, together, they'd rule the world.

But Chuck has also been having major angst issues of late. Like Blair, he's lost a lot. He's never had his dad, he's lost Blair, and now he's lost Nate. But just like Blair, when the world is taken from him, he gets ruthless. And that's when he's the most interesting to watch.

Next Week: Gossip Girl meets Cruel Intentions. Blair will have sex with Chuck if he seduces Vanessa. I have no idea how this works with the plot or how this isn't a blatant rip-off of CI, but I'm super-excited.

Fun with Photos

Okay, I know I promised to get up to date (and I will since I don't have any homework tonight), but in the meantime, here are some delightful photos from Entertainment Weekly's ComicCon photo gallery.

Oh, Sam/Jack. I love how cute and boyish RDA looks in this photo and I absolutely LOVE the dark hair on Amanda Tapping. Gorgeous.

God. Are his arms, like, the size of his head? *drool*

Freaking adorable. I love how confused Tahmoh looks and the distressed expression on Joss' face. And Eliza is always beautiful.

*thunk* I may be a Nathan lover, but MAN. That Peter's got game in the looks department.

So, expect tonight: a recap of this week's Gossip Girl and at least one Smallville recap.

Recap: NCIS 6x03 "Capitol Offense"

So, Ria was completely right. This week's NCIS was amazing. I loved it. It's everything you want in an episode of NCIS: a great mystery and a hilarious subplot.

Summary:

After a female Lt. Commander's body is found, Gibbs is contacted by a senator who served with him in the Marines. The senator was having an affair with the Lt. Commander and wants Gibbs to know this before suspicion falls onto him. Meanwhile, the Director keeps getting messages from an anonymous source giving details about the murder. The murder weapon turns out to be a gun owned by the senator, who still denies involvement and places guilt onto a lobbyist who doesn't want his environmental bill to pass. The senator's wife comes to Gibbs, angry about the affair, but still standing by her husband, saying that he'd never shoot a woman in the back. Shortly after, the phone leaving the anonymous calls is found in the senator's chief of staff's apartment, where the chief of staff is found dead with a confession. Gibbs is still not convinced. By checking the phone records, he realizes the person who was actually using the phone was the senator. The great reveal: the wife killed the Lt. Commander and the spouses both killed the chief of staff.

IN THE SUBPLOT: Ziva gives Abby a cupcake. Said cupcake is stolen. Abby spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out who stole her cupcake. The thief turns out to be (unsurprisingly) McGee.

Five comments:

1. Team Chemistry!

It's lovely to see the entire gang back together. They have beautiful chemistry and this episode highlighted it.

Ziva and Abby! Does anyone else remember when they totally hated each other? Hitting included?

Oh! The misadventures of Tony and McGee! How I've missed thee!

And finally, the best scene of the entire show:

She's on the ninth day of her cycle.

You just love snooping around into other people's lives, don't you?

Yeah. That's why I became a cop.

Oh, Tony. Never change.

Work that gag reflex!

2. The Case of the Missing Cupcake

I'm salivating. That looks ridiculously delicious. For whatever
prospective, hypothetical wedding I may or may not have
in the future, let's do this. Cupcakes. Delicious, delicious cupcakes.

I love Abby. I mean, I semi-dressed-up as Abby for Halloween last year. I just adore her. And the cupcake mystery is Abby at her finest.

Sorry, Gibbs. No Caf-Pow!, no service.

Plus, of COURSE McGee stole the cupcake. Tony knows he'd never get away with it (considering he didn't ever get his dollar back from her). Ziva has dignity. Gibbs has better things to do, and I don't think he eats anyway. McGee, however, crosses the boundaries constantly with Abby. It's their way.

She's the only person in the world who could kill you
and leave no forensic evidence, McGee. Bad decision.

The only thing I really wanted was some conclusion, some Abby/McGee confrontation that ended well, ala her horoscope that she'd have a good encounter with a co-worker.

3. Gibbs + Boat = <3

Oh, Gibbs! It's not NCIS unless he's working on his boat.

I had no idea who was coming to visit Gibbs, and our first hint was a skirt. I was like, "Uh...what's up with the wardrobe, Ziva?" And then (surprise!) the senator's wife!

Man, that woman can drink! Good thing she's married to a politician.

My only comment? Would Gibbs really let the woman drive home? She seemed pretty drunk. And he's a gentleman. I think he would have driven her home.

4. Sexy Ziva!

Ziva has totally been owning her sexuality this season. I know there will be an episode about her adventures in the Middle East that probably explains her new initiative, but until then, her new spontaneity is utterly delightful.

Sign my petition? It's on behalf of lobbyists wanting to
get me to pose in Playboy.

Also, hitting on a lobbyist while I have perfect hair? That is THE way I plan on seducing my future husband. Who hopefully turns out the be Aaron Eckhart from Thank You for Smoking.

5. Angry Gibbs!

Dumbass.

Why would you ever piss off Gibbs? If my wife killed my lover, I'd flip the hell out and then run and cry to Gibbs, confessing everything. Don't lie to Gibbs! How stupid can you be?

But boy, does it make for a fantastic confrontation.

All in all? FAB episode. The only good TV that I watched this week. Thank you, NCIS. You kick ass.

Next Week: GIBBS HAS A DAD!!!! ANGST!!!!

Recap: NCIS 6x02 "Agent Afloat"

THEY'RE BACK!!! HUZZAH!!!!

Yeah, it's late. Thusly, it'll be a short. So sue me.

Summary:

A Navy Lieutenant on DiNozzo's ship commits suicide. The suspicious circumstances surrounding his death bring Gibbs and Ziva aboard. Stuff happens. Someone might be trying to release Anthrax. The lieutenant's wife is found dead. It turns out that another guy who was working with the black market faked the officer's death and had actually used his identity to get on the boat...I'm not quite sure. I was doing homework while I was watching it. But Tony was hot.

Let's do the five!

1. TONY!!!!

Michael Weatherly. Always attractive.

We barely got Tony in the premiere (last premiere he was barely in because he was "dead," so maybe it's a new tradition). But this episode was overflowing with Tony and I loved me my DiNozzo.

2. Tony/Ziva Tension!

ANGST!!!!
(Also, weird ethnic music was totally playing during this scene.)

INVESTIGATIVE ANGST!!!

Oh, Tiva! Let's get some hot and steamy action this season. The last two seasons were soooo angsty on the Tiva front, to the point where I had actually tired of it. Tony was being a complete ass and all Ziva wanted was him to admit was that there was something between them. Their chemistry so far is promising that the writers will actually do something positive with their relationship this season.

See? Don't they look so much better happy?

En realidad, yo soy de America del Sur, no de Israel. Que raro!

Also, this season is totally about using Cote's strengths. Singing! Spanish! Sexiness!

3. Boat Action!

Sorry, I don't work well with CGI.

Remember the first season when they actually went on boats and investigated crimes? Yeah. I miss that, too.

4. McAbby!

It's snot! Timmy's got new skills!

So much love.

5. The Flu!

Maybe it's just because I was sick recently, but I totally felt for the Asian doctor with the flu. Being a sick Asian sucks! People still expect you to be smart and competent, and all you want to do is curl up in your covers and sleep. I feel your pain, Asian Doctor.

The Perfect Relationship Goes South

I am so angry this week. I have not been this angry at my TV since Michelle Kwan got the silver at Nagano. I am literally livid, boiling with anger.

I know, I know, I'm a week behind in recaps and I am the suck. But the ranting will take place now, and I will recap tomorrow after work, catching up with two weeks of TV.

Let's look at the shows, shall we?

Gossip Girl
Didn't even air this week. MADE OF LOSE.

Greek
I have a half-written post on the back burner written about this, but I hate hate hate how they treated Casey/Evan in the episode. The show has been very clear that Casey and Evan really had deep feelings for each other and the episode just trivialized them because it was "funny" and "dramatic" to have Evan be a jerk and have Cappie and Rebecca break up once more because he has "feelings" for Casey. The only good part of the episode was Rusty and Ashleigh. That was adorable. But the rest? I'm not impressed nor won over.

NCIS
Haven't watched it yet. But with my luck, Tony and McGee accidentally killed each other in friendly fire.

Project Runway
THE BIGGEST BS IN PROJECT RUNWAY HISTORY. Jerell won what was supposed to be the challenge before Bryant Park. He EARNED his spot. And instead of giving it to him, the designer with the most wins of the entire season, the show slaps him down and treats him like he is tasteless vomit. I am so angry about this it hurts.

Smallville
This is the final straw of my TV watching this week. The "Fever" letter is sacred. SACRED. And even if the writers don't think it has the level of holiness that a Chlarker does, it doesn't mean they should attempt to ruin the pillar of the ship just so they can fail at justifying Chimmy and Clois. The Chloe/Clark relationship deserves better. The fans deserve better.

I am so disgusted with this week of TV. I want to punch things. Writers. Producers. Actual televisions.

Television, I expect better from you. If I'm going to skip out on homework because of you, you have a responsibility to make it worth my while.

PUH-LEASE

Inexcusable! Project Runway, get some balls and just learn how to AUF PEOPLE. I am sick and tired of the "We don't get rid of anyone! Unfair final challenge!" last challenge. I mean, look at the crap Kenley produced, not to mention her awful attitude.

Absolutely hideous. I am so tired of fishtail dresses.
It looks like fish scales meet limp, flaccid petals that
are grossly out of proportion. Hideous.

I swear, if she's in the Top Three, I'm going to scream. Especially if they cut Jerell. Jerell WON the freaking final challenge. He should NOT be able to be eliminated. That would just be completely UNFAIR.

I'm so livid right now.

Also,

Heidi, sweetie. When you bother to wear a pants suit, how about you also spring a little extra cash to get a shirt as well? Because the bra action is a little...how do you say...TACKY.

Recap: Gossip Girl 2x05 "The Serena Also Rises"

Let me first and foremost say how much I love the puns in the episode titles? I mean, nothing with ever beat "The Blair Bitch Project," but this one is pretty good.

As for the episode itself, it's a bit of a step down from the previous two episodes, but it was still good.

***

Summary: Eleanor Waldorf is having her fashion show! Blair gets to do the seating arrangements. No big names (Kristin Dunst isn't a big name since when?) are coming, so, under Jenny's suggestion, Serena brings her socialite posse to sit in the front row instead of staying backstage with Blair, as is tradition. Blair gets back at Jenny by telling Rufus that Jenny's been cutting class. Jenny has two options: be at fashion week or grovel to the headmistress to stay at school. She chooses fashion week.

When Jenny undermines Blair by redoing the seating again, Blair sends all the models home so Jenny, who is in charge of getting the models out, gets in trouble. Jenny convinces Serena and the socialites to do the show. Socialite Poppy tells Serena to let her inner star shine and get over Blair's insecurities. Blair, in a last ditch effort to ruin Jenny's life, tells Serena to put on the final dress, which Blair has switched with one of Jenny's designs. However, the dress is well-received and Eleanor decides not to rip Jenny to shreds.

Rufus, however, knows better and chastises Jenny, who huffs off, saying that she's more talented than he ever was and that she's not going back to school and he can't tell her what to do. Really maturely. Blair apologizes to Serena and Serena bitches about how Blair should just be happy for her and just accept that she's not as cool as her.

MEANWHILE, Dan's mentor tells him to experience the life of his character "Charlie Trout" in order to find better material to write. Dan and Chuck hang out. Chuck makes Dan do drugs. Chuck makes Dan walk home without shoes. Chuck tries to pay a whore-y looking girl for sex and her boyfriend takes offense. Dan hits said boyfriend. Chuck and Dan go to jail. Chuck tells Dan that his dad doesn't love him because his wife died either giving birth or in the Andes. Chuck says he'll get his lawyer to get Dan out of jail. Chuck finds out that Dan was writing about him and is livid. Dan has to call his mentor to get him out of jail. Dan bitches out mentor and writes story about how mentor made him live on the dark side.

CONCURRENTLY, Mama Van der Woodsen tries to buy a naked photo of herself to hang in the apartment to traumatize her children. Bart Bass has enough common sense and decorating taste to NOT want that. Mama VdW finds out that Bart has a file on her, including some incriminating secret yet to be divulged!

***

Let's do our top five, ladies and gents.

1. Blair Needs a Hug.

Oh, Blair.

I know a lot of people probably found Blair's actions in this episode inexcusable. And they were. But people. Blair is hurting and hurting badly. She just found out her third love interest of the show was cheating on her (just like her previous two), only to have her best friend spend time with a socialite instead of comforting her. Her mother is too busy with her collection and her new psuedo-daughter Jenny. I am not being sarcastic when I say life is HARD for Blair.

Should she have been thinking of her mother's show when Serena wasn't going to be with her backstage in order to draw in the clientèle? Yes. But is it completely understandable that she would be upset? Yes. All Blair really wants is her best friend back. She wants the good times back. Once more, everything has been taken from her and she's alone.

With everything falling apart, she had one thing in her control: the seating chart. With that taken away from her, she had nothing.

What kills me is that when Blair finally mans up and apologizes, Serena shoots her down. And people wonder why Blair constantly has a shield around herself.

I'm so sorry! I've been really upset lately--

Uh, sorry, I've got to "shine." You should love me
because I'm awesome and you're just a spiteful little
bitch. Laters!

2. Chuck Also Needs a Hug.

We saw a new side to Chuck tonight, both from Chuck himself and from the scene with Bart and Lily. We already knew about the daddy issues from "Victor, Victrola," but the sheer sense of loneliness that radiates off of him is usually deflected by his quips with Blair or his slurred asides to Nate. Without either of them, he's forced to turn to others outside of his circle: Erik (like in the last episode) and Dan.

Anyone else super-excited that Mama Van der Woodsen has a secret? I love parental drama!

3. Serena Is a Bitch (But Not in a Good Way)

I'm tired of Serena.

Jenny is right. Everything just gets handed to Serena, sort of inexplicably. She's pretty, yes, but she's as bland as flour. She's sooo unremarkable that I am always surprised when characters are drawn to her. Even her voice is so bleh. Outside of "killing a man" (way to blow that one out of proportion), Serena is a pretty girl with a nice mom, awesome brother, and great clothes. Sure, she broke up with her boyfriend, but he was a complete loser. And when Blair tries to help her out (in her own Blair way), Serena shuts her down.

This entire episode for Serena was supposed to teach her to shine and sparkle and shimmy and shake because she's SOO fabulous.

It's a fashion show, dumbass. You don't stay at the end
of the runway and pose, you walk forward, shake your little tush,
and then walk back.

The only reason I've ever liked Serena is because when the crap goes down, she's a good friend. When she was picked as a model and found out Blair wasn't? She dropped out. She may have slept with Nate, but otherwise she's always had Blair's back. This episode changed that. Now, I believe in choosing oneself when the time is right, but the time is NOT right when your best friend is having her entire world being ripped from her.

4. Dan Doesn't Suck.

Was anyone else surprised when the episode ended and you didn't hate Dan Humphrey? I mean, you definitely realize he has limited potential as a writer since he only writes what he knows best (his life) and doesn't even bother to use good pseudonyms. Although, "I'm Charlie Trout," sounds a little stupid. Well, "Charlie Trout" sounds stupid. We couldn't have, like, "I'm Charles Tuna"? "I'm Chuckie Mackerel"? *Le sigh*

Dan used "Lady of the Night" in a short story! HAHAHA.

I am never unsure of Dan's motives. He's pretty transparent. And you could tell that he really did enjoy--or if not enjoy, appreciate--his time with Chuck. He wanted to write about Chuck, but more than that, I think he wanted to see how the other side lives. He's been separated from Serena, has had no social contact outside of Jenny or Off-Screen Vanessa. And Chuck represents (and, okay, stay with me here) Serena to Dan. He represents the life she lives, the life she chooses to live without Dan. Dan misses Serena, and, more than anything, still has his huuuuuge class issues. He wants to know what Serena can't find in him and then wants to convince himself that he doesn't need that.

Sometimes, Danny Boy, I actually feel for you.

(Side note: did anyone else notice how they're getting everyone to go to Yale in order to continue GG to college? "Dartmouth's entire English Department was poached by Yale" my ass. Did Yale pay the CW for all their characters to go there? Or maybe just paid for the Girls: Gilmore and Gossip.)

5. Jenny Needs a Slap.

This is how I do unappreciative little pig.

OMG. The moment I think Jenny might be tolerable, she reverts to her self-centered brat. I may be biased, since I think that Rufus can do no wrong, but all he wants is for his daughter to get a good education. He's paying really good money to help her and she's throwing it away.

Oh, Rufus. Such a cool guy. Such awful kids.

The only way to save Jenny from being totally hated was her sweet little one-on-one with Blair. But even that doesn't make up for her stupidity and rudeness.

Jenny: I'm going to drop out of high school!
Blair: That's nice, sweetie. I'll send you a postcard from Yale.

I am so over her. No wonder Josh Schwartz isn't doing an It Girl spin-off with her. No one would watch.

Next Week: Blair throws beer bottles at Serena's head!